Tag: honesty

So, I’ve been ecstatic quite a bit lately…

[Here’s the quick version if you haven’t got time for the rest: I want to start recording thoughts about awakening, meditation and teaching of meditation, it as they happen rather than taking the time to write blog posts. Please let me know if you can help me set up a very very simple recording/posting operation that will serve this goal of giving you understandable recording of the many bliss-inspired thoughts I would like to share with you on meditation. Now back to our blog post in process…]

But actually that’s turning out to be a bit of a problem. I have had soooo many insights and experiences that I thought at the time I had them, I really want to share this with the folks who read my blog!  But then new experiences would come, and new insights, and on and on it goes. Sooo much is happening for me in my practice right now, progress seems to be really upshifting in this that *feels* like it’s the final lap of the process (don’t hold me to that, but that’s my intuition and I’ve kinda been learning that it’s generally not too shabby).

And because of all this progress, a lot of new information that seems pretty useful is coming up.  Also I’m teaching now, and the sessions are doing a few things at once:

Learning all kinds of stuff about meditation and about teaching it from the process itself and also from my students, who are brilliant meditators, it turns out.

Learning that I actually understand the process pretty well (after years of speculation on how I would teach what I was learning).  And not only in the theoretical sense, but, to be honest (and I say this carefully, because when you get are getting this deep in the process of awakening and you say something that is false in any way, or claiming more than the truth, any sort of misrepresentation, you pay for it.  The energy just plain hurts for a while, it’s a lot like swallowing an ice cube. Have you ever done that? Yeah, it hurts…a long time and a lot, all the way down to the final release into your stomach. That’s what crossing your conscience does to you at this point–so be forewarned my friends. That’s what you can look forward too). So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by that parenthetic statement, it turns out that I really show promise as a teacher of meditation.

My few students are welcome to disagree in the comments btw. But I’ve found myself able to be flexible, go with the flow of the student’s needs and their personal sense of direction for where the lesson needed to go. I’ve taught several things at the same time by way of choosing the right metaphor for the moment and guiding the student through an experience of what I was explaining to them even as I explained it to them. I’ve chosen metaphors that were especially apt to both the student’s needs and my own personal life expertise; and I’ve known when and how to share them.

I’ve found metaphors that make a heck of a lot more sense than many that I’ve been taught and actually show you  how meditation is just like other things you already know how to do in life–and that if you treat it like those other things, you’re going to get amazingly better at both things quickly. I’ve told students what it’s like to experience the world through the experience of awakening, without making it more or less than it actually is, so that they can see for themselves what they are moving and working toward (and also be able to weigh whether it’s the sort of thing they actually want).  And I’ve shared how it gets easier on the inside while it also gets harder on the outside. But we can talk about that more another time.

I’ve also shared experiences with students that I’ve been having in teaching (minus any personally sensitive information), and discussing with the student how they and I both view what happened and what we can both learn from it (this is a thing with me–I Truly believe in COLLABORATION. Sorry if I shouted there; it’s just that I’ve spent a lot of time involved in yoga where the traditions are very strong that a realized master is so perfect, like god on earth, and it really screws with the flow of information and learning. I think we could have developed so much more past where we are with both the process of how to teach awakening for better and sooner (sorry, don’t like “faster”) results, and also finding out how to go further than we’ve gone in awakening itself–if we could just learn how to respectfully disagree with the teacher, respectfully criticize the teacher, and respectfully listen to the student’s sense intuition and support them in working with it, even when it’s not perfect).  Little rant there. Anyway.

Which by the way, as I write this, one of my very incredible and wonderful students is doing an assignment I gave them to find something to criticize me about, so that she can get used to disagreeing with me and giving me critical feedback. They are telling me I’m too polite. I explained that I was taken aback (which I was), and how they are helping me learn by giving me an example and explaining how they missed out as a result of my being too polite instead of giving it to them straight.  If they agree to it, I’ll post our conversation here in the comments.

Those of you at home, you can do this too–comments work; you can use them to tell me about things you disagree with; we can learn more together than we can learn when I’m the only one in the conversation.

They just answered yes by the way. So, cool, we will get to share 🙂

Anyway, let me get back on track.

Here’s really the point that I’m getting to though; I see you out there visiting this site and reading what I post. I think there are, along with the various one time visits, a few, maybe 10 or 20 people around the world. People in Japan, Norway, several countries in parts of the world I’m pretty unfamiliar with, whose names I barely know how to pronounce let alone spell, along with of course Australia, Canada and the US.  I will list them all some day soon.

Please know that I see you visit the blog, read my posts, even “like” things sometimes, and I think of you when I’m writing, I pray for you, send you light, and love. I want very much to share good things with you. I even hope in time that many of you will do the same here, sharing with me and the rest of us.

So I’ve been contemplating an idea: I’m pretty certain that I would post a lot more stuff, cool stuff ecstatically inspired about meditation and also teaching mediation; things that might possibly really be helpful to you as a student and/or teacher of meditation.  A lot of fun stuff actually, because stuffy boring stuff is…well, stuffy and boring, and how is that going to help you beautify your life with meditation leading to awakening?

But writing takes a very long time. It requires many hours of editing to make it readable (which will not happen here, I made a deal with myself that I would take the time to write this if I could just spill it all out to you and be done with it)–all that editing and re-working pretty much kills a lot of the sense of ecstatic inspiration and discovery, and even then, all you get is various combinations of letters on a page. I think most of us know by this point how much of communication is actually done through print–it’s about 3% of what you get when speaking with someone directly–and still quite a lot less than you would get if you could hear their voice.

Which is the point here–I believe I can get a lot more of really rich and useful information to you, if I record it as I receive it, and basically share 15 minutes to a half hour of it with you once or twice a week.

Now, this is I think a really great way to share more of what I’m learning, receiving, discovering, but it really will only work if the recordings are at least clear and the way they are posted online is easy for you to access and use.  Unfortunately, I’m not very knowledgeable about how to accomplish that in terms of recording equipment (which will be minimal in any case) and how and where to post it.


I’m asking the Mother, the Lover, to help me out here and bring me in contact with people who are knowledgeable about these things and willing to gift me with enough of their time, maybe a few hours, to get all this worked out.  Also possibly anyone who has decent minimalist equipment to make recordings with and edit them (just a tad–mostly it’s going to be me speaking spontaneously. I’m sure I’ll learn how to do this more clearly and less dumbly over time).

Here’s the thing–you who are reading this may be just the sort of person who could help me make this idea of recordings or podcasts not only a reality, but sooner, and better than it might otherwise be.  So, if you are such a person, who has expertise and or equipment you wouldn’t mind contributing to our venture in learning about awakening together here, please do me and the others who read this a real favor, and let me know.

I would really appreciate your help.

Otherwise, if none of my readers are the person who is right for this idea, I’m kind of new to the whole manifesting thing, but rest assured, friends, I’m going to start figuring out how to do this, how to manifest recording expertise advice and equipment. I don’t know how long that will take though, so we may all need to be patient while that comes about.

In the mean time, I will *try to try to* write blog pieces a tiny bit more often, and with a bit more editing than this crazy train off the tracks.

So, stay tuned ~:)

(also please be welcome to see my conversation with a student about a criticism I asked them to give me in the comments.

[edit: found several podcast recording and editing apps for android; going to start testing them, see if they will serve our purposes here. Looking forward to sharing more with you all, and hope you begin to talk back to me in the comments so I can learn more about you and how I can inform you on things you find the most helpful.]






Recent insights

Even though I often experience amazing bliss and peace, I still frequently stress out over various things great and not so great. Conclusion: When I’m enlightened it’s just an incredible experience, but it’s not as constant all the time as it seems like it will be when I’m in the throes of that bliss and oneness.  It’s truly embarrassing to admit this, but the only way to finish the job is to practice humility and be truthful; conceit and dishonesty render us incapable of experiencing the Truth; also dangerous to those we would like to teach what we do actually know so far.

Also, a small smile can help me climb back up the chakras out of stress and into peace and awakening much faster than meditation. Why is it so difficult to remember this? And to meditate with a small smile on one’s face? Priceless.

Finally, a fellow meditator tonight told me the chakras are part of the endocrine system and related to regulation of the adrenal glands. I’ve not yet looked this up to verify it, but if it turns out to be true, it could at least help to explain why the adrenal gland comes under regulation by a meditator over time, and also why moving up out of the lower chakras also gets one out of that stressful state of anxiety.

Musings which follow that are: how closely are adrenaline and desire related, anyway? Also; no wonder when I’m below the third eye I feel so stressed!  In fact it seems like just thinking of it this way could give a way to remember to let go of chakras below the crown and stop stressing myself, and move up out of the body.  But, it all still needs more information to make sense of. What do others know about all this? Any good references?

Finally; so, if the endocrine-chakra relationship and also the close adrenal gland relationship are indeed true, then given there is no physical counterpart to area above the head, wonder what on earth is going on in that change from endocrine system to non-physical.  Possibility the specifics of that change could involve useful information.


HAI–Humans being Human

Hello all, 

Just found my tribe, my people. 

Spent a weekend on retreat at a workshop created by HAI; Human Awareness Institute. 

HAI is basically a community of Humans being human together, living at fully conscious, intentional choice and consent about every moment of their relationships, and embracing and celebrating compassionately all our diversities of being, thought, and experience. 

You can find out more about HAI at HAI.org, But here is part of their home page to give you an idea of what they are about:

Want to feel more love in your life?


Everyone deserves lives filled with love and loving connections.  It’s really that simple.

You deserve it. No matter how much love you already have in your life, or how little, our workshops will help you to have more.  Too often, our life experiences cause us to be wary of intimacy, or not know how to connect.


At the Love, Intimacy and Sexuality Workshops, we create a safe environment that encourages stepping into the flow of intimacy.  Give yourself richer friendshipswarmer family dynamics, and extraordinary depth in all your relationships.  Open to a world of joy and connection and allow yourself to naturally and comfortably express your heartfelt love and intimacy.

The Human Awareness Institute (HAI) weekend workshops

Learn to communicate your deepest feelings

Live at choice

Improve your body image and discover your innate beauty

Discover the joy of knowing how to connect with others

Examine and change the habits and patterns that get in the way of love

Risk, Trust, Listen, Share, Honor, Laugh

Embrace your sexuality as a special – and sacred – part of your life

At our weekend Love workshops you will discover how your habits and beliefs about love, intimacy and sexuality affect your relationships, body image, sexual satisfaction, and ability to find love.

As I said: humans being human.  I think many indigenous peoples still know how to do this, but many or most of us in the “civilized” portions of the world, could, in my opinion at least, really benefit from the refresher course and community of humans that HAI is.  Go see for yourself; they give mini workshops all over the world. It’s a wonderful experience.