So, I’ve been ecstatic quite a bit lately…

[Here’s the quick version if you haven’t got time for the rest: I want to start recording thoughts about awakening, meditation and teaching of meditation, it as they happen rather than taking the time to write blog posts. Please let me know if you can help me set up a very very simple recording/posting operation that will serve this goal of giving you understandable recording of the many bliss-inspired thoughts I would like to share with you on meditation. Now back to our blog post in process…]

But actually that’s turning out to be a bit of a problem. I have had soooo many insights and experiences that I thought at the time I had them, I really want to share this with the folks who read my blog!  But then new experiences would come, and new insights, and on and on it goes. Sooo much is happening for me in my practice right now, progress seems to be really upshifting in this that *feels* like it’s the final lap of the process (don’t hold me to that, but that’s my intuition and I’ve kinda been learning that it’s generally not too shabby).

And because of all this progress, a lot of new information that seems pretty useful is coming up.  Also I’m teaching now, and the sessions are doing a few things at once:

Learning all kinds of stuff about meditation and about teaching it from the process itself and also from my students, who are brilliant meditators, it turns out.

Learning that I actually understand the process pretty well (after years of speculation on how I would teach what I was learning).  And not only in the theoretical sense, but, to be honest (and I say this carefully, because when you get are getting this deep in the process of awakening and you say something that is false in any way, or claiming more than the truth, any sort of misrepresentation, you pay for it.  The energy just plain hurts for a while, it’s a lot like swallowing an ice cube. Have you ever done that? Yeah, it hurts…a long time and a lot, all the way down to the final release into your stomach. That’s what crossing your conscience does to you at this point–so be forewarned my friends. That’s what you can look forward too). So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by that parenthetic statement, it turns out that I really show promise as a teacher of meditation.

My few students are welcome to disagree in the comments btw. But I’ve found myself able to be flexible, go with the flow of the student’s needs and their personal sense of direction for where the lesson needed to go. I’ve taught several things at the same time by way of choosing the right metaphor for the moment and guiding the student through an experience of what I was explaining to them even as I explained it to them. I’ve chosen metaphors that were especially apt to both the student’s needs and my own personal life expertise; and I’ve known when and how to share them.

I’ve found metaphors that make a heck of a lot more sense than many that I’ve been taught and actually show you  how meditation is just like other things you already know how to do in life–and that if you treat it like those other things, you’re going to get amazingly better at both things quickly. I’ve told students what it’s like to experience the world through the experience of awakening, without making it more or less than it actually is, so that they can see for themselves what they are moving and working toward (and also be able to weigh whether it’s the sort of thing they actually want).  And I’ve shared how it gets easier on the inside while it also gets harder on the outside. But we can talk about that more another time.

I’ve also shared experiences with students that I’ve been having in teaching (minus any personally sensitive information), and discussing with the student how they and I both view what happened and what we can both learn from it (this is a thing with me–I Truly believe in COLLABORATION. Sorry if I shouted there; it’s just that I’ve spent a lot of time involved in yoga where the traditions are very strong that a realized master is so perfect, like god on earth, and it really screws with the flow of information and learning. I think we could have developed so much more past where we are with both the process of how to teach awakening for better and sooner (sorry, don’t like “faster”) results, and also finding out how to go further than we’ve gone in awakening itself–if we could just learn how to respectfully disagree with the teacher, respectfully criticize the teacher, and respectfully listen to the student’s sense intuition and support them in working with it, even when it’s not perfect).  Little rant there. Anyway.

Which by the way, as I write this, one of my very incredible and wonderful students is doing an assignment I gave them to find something to criticize me about, so that she can get used to disagreeing with me and giving me critical feedback. They are telling me I’m too polite. I explained that I was taken aback (which I was), and how they are helping me learn by giving me an example and explaining how they missed out as a result of my being too polite instead of giving it to them straight.  If they agree to it, I’ll post our conversation here in the comments.

Those of you at home, you can do this too–comments work; you can use them to tell me about things you disagree with; we can learn more together than we can learn when I’m the only one in the conversation.

They just answered yes by the way. So, cool, we will get to share 🙂

Anyway, let me get back on track.

Here’s really the point that I’m getting to though; I see you out there visiting this site and reading what I post. I think there are, along with the various one time visits, a few, maybe 10 or 20 people around the world. People in Japan, Norway, several countries in parts of the world I’m pretty unfamiliar with, whose names I barely know how to pronounce let alone spell, along with of course Australia, Canada and the US.  I will list them all some day soon.

Please know that I see you visit the blog, read my posts, even “like” things sometimes, and I think of you when I’m writing, I pray for you, send you light, and love. I want very much to share good things with you. I even hope in time that many of you will do the same here, sharing with me and the rest of us.

So I’ve been contemplating an idea: I’m pretty certain that I would post a lot more stuff, cool stuff ecstatically inspired about meditation and also teaching mediation; things that might possibly really be helpful to you as a student and/or teacher of meditation.  A lot of fun stuff actually, because stuffy boring stuff is…well, stuffy and boring, and how is that going to help you beautify your life with meditation leading to awakening?

But writing takes a very long time. It requires many hours of editing to make it readable (which will not happen here, I made a deal with myself that I would take the time to write this if I could just spill it all out to you and be done with it)–all that editing and re-working pretty much kills a lot of the sense of ecstatic inspiration and discovery, and even then, all you get is various combinations of letters on a page. I think most of us know by this point how much of communication is actually done through print–it’s about 3% of what you get when speaking with someone directly–and still quite a lot less than you would get if you could hear their voice.

Which is the point here–I believe I can get a lot more of really rich and useful information to you, if I record it as I receive it, and basically share 15 minutes to a half hour of it with you once or twice a week.

Now, this is I think a really great way to share more of what I’m learning, receiving, discovering, but it really will only work if the recordings are at least clear and the way they are posted online is easy for you to access and use.  Unfortunately, I’m not very knowledgeable about how to accomplish that in terms of recording equipment (which will be minimal in any case) and how and where to post it.


I’m asking the Mother, the Lover, to help me out here and bring me in contact with people who are knowledgeable about these things and willing to gift me with enough of their time, maybe a few hours, to get all this worked out.  Also possibly anyone who has decent minimalist equipment to make recordings with and edit them (just a tad–mostly it’s going to be me speaking spontaneously. I’m sure I’ll learn how to do this more clearly and less dumbly over time).

Here’s the thing–you who are reading this may be just the sort of person who could help me make this idea of recordings or podcasts not only a reality, but sooner, and better than it might otherwise be.  So, if you are such a person, who has expertise and or equipment you wouldn’t mind contributing to our venture in learning about awakening together here, please do me and the others who read this a real favor, and let me know.

I would really appreciate your help.

Otherwise, if none of my readers are the person who is right for this idea, I’m kind of new to the whole manifesting thing, but rest assured, friends, I’m going to start figuring out how to do this, how to manifest recording expertise advice and equipment. I don’t know how long that will take though, so we may all need to be patient while that comes about.

In the mean time, I will *try to try to* write blog pieces a tiny bit more often, and with a bit more editing than this crazy train off the tracks.

So, stay tuned ~:)

(also please be welcome to see my conversation with a student about a criticism I asked them to give me in the comments.

[edit: found several podcast recording and editing apps for android; going to start testing them, see if they will serve our purposes here. Looking forward to sharing more with you all, and hope you begin to talk back to me in the comments so I can learn more about you and how I can inform you on things you find the most helpful.]






One thought on “So, I’ve been ecstatic quite a bit lately…

  1. And here is my student’s criticism of me and our conversation about it as promised:

    I have thought about something that I can criticize you on… You try to soften the blow a bit..

    oh yeah? How’s that?
    (I’m taken aback)

    You can let me have it straight with no politeness..
    Sorry if I was raw ..
    You are a bit too polite…

    no, no–that’s the point. I’m giving you my reaction in real time though, because that’s part of the experience 🙂
    ok, help me learn from you here. You’re the teacher right now, ok? tell me about an example of where you witnessed it. Also, I would really be helped if you could tell me about what you missed out on because I was too polite.

    Hmm… When you tell me… “This is only my opinion…”
    Can’t think of anything else right now But I know your heart already, I know that what you say comes from love, you don’t have to qualify it…

    Thanks, I really appreciate it. To tell you the truth, I also feel some anxiety when I say that–it feels like not a good thing to say to me too, so I’m definitely resonating with you on this.

    I know we all try to be nice and not to hurt others but it kind of detracts from the message
    For me anyway…

    and that is also good to know–I’m learning to understand you, the best ways to teach you things, so it’s important I understand things like this affect you in ways that detract from what we’re studying.
    I really think it will help me to learn how to teach better–you in particular, but also just teach in general; if you would agree to point out when I soften the blow too much for you by saying this or anything else. Right when it happens, I mean.

    You don’t have to catch every time or anything like that; but sometime when it feels right to you to bring it up, mention it, and we can consider for a moment what is happening, how what I’m doing is taking away from what you’re learning, and also hopefully we can think of better ways for me to teach that.

    Ok. I’ll try. I’m guilty of the same thing.. So I will try

    Oh, well then, even better; we’ll learn together 🙂
    Say, I have one last question for you before I let you go, and you don’t have to decide now if you’re not sure, ok?
    I’m writing about exactly this sort of process of students giving critical feedback right now in a post for my blog, and I mentioned the discussion we’re having, and said I’d share it in the comments (minus any identifying details) if you agreed to it.
    My goal is to encourage others to do basically the same on the blog site, as readers have tended not to say much and only complementary things.

    I have no problem with that
    I’d be honored

    Great. I’ll send you a copy the scrubbed version of our conversation before I post it, along with a link to the blog post. Unfortunately I do kind of let myself ramble on this one, which I don’t like to do, but I’m covering a lot of ground quickly. So, just be aware lol.
    Thank you so much. You are a beautiful human being and a wonderful student 🙂

    Thank YOU.
    Compliments take me aback and you give them so freely, just know that when I say very little is because I’m feeling a lot

    ok, sure; thank you. I’m happy to be patient and let you experience that moment. Also it helps me to know that so that I don’t overload you with more of them than you can get through in any one moment.


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